I have been to the solicitor and evidence has been handed over.
That is all I shall say about that because it was hard admitting what a fool I've been for putting up with what Baz has done for years. My family have always known about it, my best friends have likewise known about it and I thank you all for your support. You were right and I was wrong- I *should've* reported him ages ago.
As for Anonymous Poster- you have no idea. Baz is the sort of man who doesn't tend to leave bruises (although he has done) but he has battered my mind over the years and reduced me to a quivering wreck on too many occasions. And yet, more fool me, I loved him. I would have sold my soul for him to get him out of trouble and he knows it. He caused this mess, not me, I have enough emotional trauma to deal with without cowardly little remarks being left on here, thank you very much.  

Tomorrow is going to be traumatic to say the least. Still, it must be done. I should have done this earlier, I should have sought legal advice years ago but I didn't because I was always made to feel that I was to blame.
This, I see now, was one of Barry's methods of controlling me. Not any more. No. Not any more....

I have been through the emotional wringer. Baz has been so spiteful and every time I've seen him I've been shaking like a leaf. Why? Because I'm scared of him and who has better reason to know what he's capable of than I?
See, since I found out he'd been lying yet again he has turned evil. He told me to get out of "his" house, to give me the keys to it, said that I'm not to take any of my or Thom's stuff except for clothes until he'd agreed and signed a list (his solicitor's advice apparently), he's allegedly been screwing Megan in *my* bed (so Thomas tells me) when he knows that she has no right to be there without my permission as it *isn't* just his house, it's mine also, and as for Megan well- we're seeing the solicitor on Wednesday to sort out that issue.
Thomas said again that he doesn't like her, that he's scared of Daddy and of what Daddy might do to him and me if he didn't pretend to like her. Baz told him not to tell me that he'd broken the rules yet again. He expects an 8 year old frightened little boy to hide his father's shame...
On Sunday he went for me. Told me that as I had no proof of Megan's druggy past/present then I couldn't do anything about it. He barred my way when I tried to leave. He demanded my house keys, I got Thomas out of bed and fled down the road shaking and crying and Andrew came to rescue us. Baz then sent a text accusing me of stealing *his* keys! The family think it was his way of trying to get mine off me.
Anyway, today I told him to contact me through my solicitor only. I have info on reporting domestic abuse and I shall be having a very frank discussion with my solicitor, after all I have witnesses and documentation...

I am currently swinging between despair and happiness. Curse Baz for cutting up my peace...Thomas told me that he hates Megan and he tried to report her drug use to some police at the 999 weekend! I stopped him.
Baz I'm sure blames me for it but then he blames me for everything!

Bless my man, this week he's been intro'd to virtually all my family! He's done me proud and my clan like him. This is always a good thing.
This morning we walked in on my half-naked old dad, fresh from the delights of being hosed down under the shower by one of his lady carers :-D My dear rascally father is enjoying the attention from his ladies immensely. He's an old flirt! ;)

Yes, I know that to some people this is boring and I did make a resolution not to get all angsty over Baz but...
A short while ago he told me that he wouldn't contact Megan, didn't want to contact her/see her/whatever because of the pain it created for me and Thomas. I no longer love him, see, but it is hard to let go to the woman who caused our marriage to break down. For all his faults, and mine, we had a strong bond, one that lasted 18 years. All gone, in the dropping of knickers. The future that he and I had planned, snatched away. But I digress- like I said, he'd made me this promise (although I *should* know him well enough NOT to trust him)and I, like a fool, chose to believe him.
We were getting on well again, I had 4 tickets to Silverstone, he invited his brother Jason along...his mum suggested that I hand over Thomas on the Saturday evening so he could have both days of motor sport AND some time with his daddy. I said to Baz about it, he refused. I thought, ok, odd, but never mind.
Found out today that he'd invited and taken Megan along. The bastard! I am seeing my solicitor again next week because she is a drug user and I am not having my son anywhere near her. If this means that Baz has only very limited contact with Thomas then tough. I put my child first even though he is too selfish to do so. In fact, Baz tried to use Thomas himself as a reason not to spend any time with him! "He doesn't give me the impression that he wants to see me." Well I'm sorry Barry but you treat your 8 year old son like shit, you talk to him like shit...but he *does* love you.
For all this, and my new found resentment for Megan (sorry Megan, it *will* pass, it's delayed reaction- I'm famous for it), I still don't dislike the woman. I don't know whether she knows he was lying to me about women: "I don't have any loves Kate" (this was what, Tuesday just gone?) or whether he asked her not to tell me they were seeing each other still and frankly I don't care- but it just proves that just like he can lie to me, he can (and has) lied to her and all his others.
It's Thomas who is hurting the most. I have found safe harbour with a man who does what Baz never could with me after our first few years together: treats me like a woman with feelings, like someone to be cherished, who is happy to just be with me, doesn't nag because oh noes! There's something not exactly where it should be...and he has a strong liking for Thomas which is developing. Thomas has a strong regard for my man too.
See, Megan will soon realise that Baz is a control freak. If the housework isn't spotless he will get nasty. He *will* be unfaithful because it's what he does. But this is for her to find out and I wish her all the luck in the world especially when she finds out he is promising the world to some other woman and makes out it's all Megan's fault...

FUCKING BARRY IS A FUCKING LYING BASTARD.

Lucy and Mike- thankyou thankyou thankyou!!!!!!!
*lovesyouboth*
I adore it!! :)))) *squidges*
xx

I *still* can't remember the question!! It was pretty revolting I think.
OOOOOOH, St. Helier, you TEASE! There's something so delightfully caressable about your bottle shape...
Oh oh oh!!!! Yes! Now I remember! Andrew and I were discussing worms used as bait for fishing (white rag, lugworms etc) when yours truly (being a filthy soul) wondered whether fish would find threadworms or tapeworms tasty :-D You know, the sort that small children are often unwittingly giving gut room to....
Any thoughts??? (before throwing up...)

I had a question to ask but I can't remember what it was :'(
It was something silly.
Balls.

There's been a decided increase in single or small groups of random cones in Pevensey Bay. Also spotted were 3 cones, in various states of sinkage, in the Harbour.
Ooooh, they get everywhere.....

I feel really oddd.
Ho hum.

There be swine flu at Thom's school. I confess to being a trifle worried but whatever will be, will be.
Amanda and Robbie are here in Pevensey Bay :-@ :-D My sister seems shorter than I remember and she has a decided Kiwi twang which isn't obvious over the phone but is very pronounced in the flesh. She seemed quite horrified when I pointed this out to her, silly girl.
The weather is currently calm although I suspect there's a furious storm hiding somewhere. My head feels full of fuzz and my neck aches, I have a slight feeling of nausea which indicates there's something unseen happening, weather-wise.
Mind you, I feel a tad tempestuous myself...

My word!! Goodness!!! Holy Mackerel!!!
Twang twang twang!!!!
hehehe ;)

I'm feeling so much better now. Yay! The unease from last night has gone along with the remnants of my sun-sickness.

Well, what can I say? I rolled off to bed after last night's entry and fell asleep almost immediately...Thomas had fallen asleep on the sofa, bless my little Stiglet, so I left him there a-snoring. I came round this morning at 9.55!!!!
I shall head off to the Hellhole shortly (a.k.a. Asda) to brave the crowds of short-tempered customers. Right now though I am hungry so food here I come...

Silverstone was a blast. I had a sun related headache after, though which has only just eased. Oh, but the sound of race cars! So sexy!

There was, by all accounts, a spectacular thunderstorm last night. I was sparko, thus missed it- a shame because I adore going out and screaming with the thunder.
Mind you, Baz only woke up because I'd opened the window above the sofa earlier that evening (which he hadn't noticed) and his feet were getting wet hehehehe.
Silverstone tomorrow!!!! Yay!! Just wish I was taking my Bloater with me...