Gaaaah, depression, depression, why must you plague me so? You make me retreat into myself, pushing away my friends and loved ones, turning me into a recluse.
Now, I love being alone when I choose to be, but having it forced upon me because my head refuses to unlock my social side is really annoying. 
It won't last, I know, but I have SO much coming up that I need my head to behave itself for a change...

On Saturday, I am off to Bodiam Castle with my Snail and the Snailsbury Boys. I am looking forward to this immensely! We are taking a picnic and the cameras and as the weather promises to be fair it shall be a great day. It's a pity that Thom won't be able to join us for this pleasure jaunt; he adores the Snailsbury Boys and picnics, but he's spending the weekend with his dad and stepmum and the gang in their new home so he'll have plenty of fun.
Which reminds me, I really *must* get his party sorted! I can't believe he'll be 11 next month. Where does the time go? It seems only yesterday that I was a girl, playing hide and seek, picking gooseberries and making mud pies...

No. No. No.
No.
I don't care that you feel like "being naughty". When I suggest meeting for a catch-up, a CHAT, then that is what I mean, nothing more...
So, yeah, I *might* see you on Sunday; but something tells me that I probably won't!

On Monday, Michelle and I were worried about Cookie, our school hamster. Although she was breathing, she was pretty unresponsive and very cold to the touch. Given that she had lost most of her fur- a common occurrence in aging hamlings- one might've supposed she was heading for hibernation except for the fact that the classroom was warm, her cage was cosy and she had a good, snug bed. 
She just didn't look well.
I gently scooped her up and Michelle gave her a warming cuddle as did I, then we each bestowed our blessings and love on her and bade her sleep tight before putting her back, making sure her house, water and food were all withing easy reach of each other.
I dropped a message to her Pet Parent, Julie, to let her know what was happening, because her first port of call would be to check on Cookie and I wanted her to be prepared.
Yesterday morning, Cookie was still breathing but weaker. Julie (who knows the signs as well as I do) immediately made the decision to move her out of the class and into a quiet room. Cookie was with it enough to know her Mum was there before she finally slipped away at lunchtime.
Rest in peace, little one. We shall miss you.

When the clouds descend, and the feelings of despair become too much, what people with depression do not need are ignorant guttersnipes saying they are attention seeking emotional blackmailers. Really. In these so-called enlightened times it grieves me deeply that people can still think that about mental illness. 
Depression is a crafty illness. It plays with our perception and our ability to make sense of everyday commonplace stuff. The merest detail that would usually be brushed aside suddenly takes on a whole new scary significance, paranoia pops by to confuse matters, we find ourselves caught up in a veritable maelstrom of negativity when the only way out of this living, waking Hell appears to be death.  Believe me, I know. When one feels suicidal no amount of pills or talking can make those feelings suddenly go away; but medication, given time, will bring ease and in the meantime having the support of loved ones is invaluable. Being able to talk about what is a very difficult issue is so important because it can help someone in acute distress step back for a while, not to mention having someone listen and not judge, offering nothing more than a hug, is incredibly cathartic.
So, people- THINK next time, before you start accusing those of us with depression of being merely out to get attention because you may well be preventing someone from getting the help they actually NEED.

Grrr. I am having major problems with my internet at the moment. I'm able to snatch brief windows of surfness before the whole thing goes into meltdown.
Ho hum.
The boys are loving their hammock! I shall take some photos of them in it soon and post them up for everyone to admire. :-D I've had nothing but good things said of the hammock itself by everyone that's seen it; the last comment being, "Gosh, it's beautifully made!" which, whilst absolutely true, struck me as somewhat odd. What were they expecting?! Nothing but the best for MY rat children, thank you very much!
Right. That's all before the laptop decides to go on strike again...

For every thing that you ever did to hurt me, you are forgiven.
For each and every mental bruise you inflicted, you are forgiven.
For all the lies you told me, you are forgiven.
For all the lies you told others about me, you are forgiven.
For all the times you could have let me go instead of keeping me with false promises, you are forgiven.

Phew, that's a relief. Now when Karma bites, it can't be laid at *my* door...

Our year one pupils have been learning about things that grow. This has involved copious amounts of the old favourite, cress, and the children have planted up some flower pots too.
Now, during the day the trays of pots go outside for an airing and then come back in, in case of bad weather. The weekend was forecast as fair, however, so the decision was made to leave them out but when Mrs. O. inspected the plantlings she found that several had been plucked clean out of the pots and were sprawled forlornly on the pavement. She managed to re-pot them and they seem to be none the worse.
There was much conjecture over who or what was responsible for this outrage. Opinions ranged from mice, through squirrels and pigeons and Mrs. O. declared that she wouldn't be leaving them out overnight again.
This afternoon, though, she had to scoot off early and when I did her room I saw the young plants, outside, shivering in their pots. I also spotted a fine, big herring gull, slapping cautiously along the path toward them. Sure enough, he dipped his beak and made a grab for one of the plants, yanked it from the pot and spat it out! I chased him off and rescued the stranded plant and brought the trays of pots in.
A herring gull. Who'd've thought it?

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Thom has got his SATs this week. We have both been getting ready for them; him with the odd bout of study and me by making sure there's a supply of fresh fruit and other healthy snacks on hand for when he's home. His breakfast cereal this morning was almost ceremoniously prepared and delivered to him. XD 
I wanted my Small Boy to have a fun filled time with his dad over the weekend, and I'm fairly certain he did, but when he plodded up the stairs to our front door I could see he wasn't in plump currant. A question elicited the response that he'd managed to get sun burn on his shoulders. >.< 
Great. Just when he needs to have no distractions from the test papers in front of him, he gets something that will hurt every time he moves. 
AND he left his P.E. kit (bar plimsolls) behind!! 
Ah well. 
He wasn't feeling too well because of the sun exposure either. I cooled him off, gave him lots of drinks and a painkiller. After a while, once the sun had dropped enough to lower the temperature I took him for a short stroll to get some fresh air and he was feeling much more the thing by the time we returned. Some cuddle time after that saw him cheerfully on his way to bed and this morning, apart from the sting of the burn, he was quite well again.
Bless my little rascal...

So much to do, so much to organize and not nearly enough time in which to do it... but at least the sun is shining, the bread is baked and dinner is on!
Woo hoo!!